A decision tool for partners who build together — in love and in business.
When the people deciding share a business and a bed, every choice carries two conversations at once: what is best for the company, and what happened between you last month. This table separates them — not by leaving the feelings out, but by giving them their own seat.
Eight short steps. You name the decision, sort what kind of conversation this is, agree who decides, score the options privately, look only at where you differ, imagine the failure together, say what the decision means to each of you, and write down what you chose.
Use one device, side by side. Each of you scores in private — pass the screen and look away. Nothing you enter leaves this device; it stays in this browser until you press Start over.
Name the choice in front of you as a question with real options. If you can’t write it in a sentence, you may be holding two decisions — pick one for today.
Two to four. “Wait and decide in 90 days” counts as an option.
A one-way door deserves the slow version: finish every step, and sleep on it before you sign anything.
Right now, is either of you: heart pounding, voice rising, wanting to leave, or rehearsing your next point instead of listening?
A flooded body can’t weigh options; it can only defend. Go to separate rooms and do something absorbing that isn’t this — a walk, dishes, music. Don’t rehearse your case. Come back when the timer ends.
Check any that are true.
When the heat is bigger than the stakes, the decision is often carrying an unresolved hurt. You can still decide today — but name it out loud first, agree it isn’t what you’re deciding, and take it to the right room. For the relationship, that room is a couples therapist. This table is for the business.
Many of these fights are about authority, not options. Settle it before you discuss.
Choose three to six things this decision should be judged by. You don’t have to agree on how much each one matters; you’ll each weigh them privately next.